Groom Focus

In the time of the metrosexual man, it is becoming more common for Grooms to want to have a firm say in the wedding plans. Whilst this is great news and your efforts helping with decisions will be much appreciated, there are some golden rules to be followed.

The key to success and minimal stress is to listen. There will be times when your stress ridden betrothed wants your help with a situation or a supplier, other times she will simply be looking to vent her frustrations. You need to be able to identify which bride-to-be you are talking to without asking the wrong questions. The correct question in most cases is 'I know that you are more than capable of dealing with *add current dilemma* but I would like to help if I can. Is there anything you want me to do?' This not only affirms your faith in her and your willingness to participate with keen interest in the plans, but also lets you know what she is in need of at that particular time. If she asks you to take action, take action in a timely manner. Do not expect that your efforts will be gratefully received if you have taken three months to book the first suit fitting, or make an appointment with the caterers. This implies, rightly or wrongly, that you have little or no interest in the impending nuptials, a fact which rather than alleviating stress will simply add fuel to an already deadly blaze.

Try to take pressure away from your bride. Think of the areas of the planning that you have an interest, perhaps you are a music fiend, like fast cars or are artistic. Offer to do the leg work in these areas. Make the initial appointments with the suppliers and choose 2-3 of the best, attend the final visit together to allow you both to be involved in the decision. Remember your bride-to-be has an ever growing 'to-do' list and the world is offering her their best intended advice, leaving her head swimming with details.

By you offering to take some of the pressure away you will resume your rightful place as her hero. A few extra brownie points can be gained with the odd gift at different points in the planning process. These don't have to be expensive, a simple chocolate is enough to generate the same excitement as a child with an advent calendar. If you are likely to forget these dates spare a lunchtime and make reminders on your work diary or your phone. Remember a happy stress free bride = a happy stress free groom.


Long gone are the days of simply washing your face and throwing on the suit hired/bought, from the same place your dad, your grandfather, his father and his father before him acquired their wedding suit. Nowadays a bit more TLC and grooming is expected from the man of the moment.

It is also worth investing in a decent haircut, proper shave, new shoes and a manicure. Whilst the latter may be a test to your manly exterior, your wedding pictures will be around for a long time and no-one wants to see chewed or split nails especially not your bride. Taking a little time in your personal appearance will go a long way towards the end of the day. After all you have every right to be the best dressed man in the room.

Try to curb your drinking in the run up to the day and on the day itself. Do not have the stag night or other themed last minute drinking event on the evening prior to the wedding. It's all fun and games until you arrive at the ceremony smelling of alcohol or worse projectile vomiting on your unsuspecting bride as you give your vows. Remember a lot of time, effort and money went into the plans. Just because your out of town friends are on home turf for a few days does not give you licence to throw away these plans at the last hurdle. Plan to meet with these friends a few days prior to the wedding and get an early night the day before.

On the day itself do not fall foul to the temptation to partake of copious amounts of alcoholic beverages and definitely avoid shots. Your bestman and groomsman are likely to be more than accommodating in picking up the slack from drinks that guests buy you which you do not wish to consume. Remember there are speeches to give and action to be taken later on in the evening.

On your wedding night a little forward planning can go a long way. If you are staying in a hotel ask if your wedding coordinator can help to arrange something a little special for your bride. Whether it is champagne and strawberries, her favourite chocolates and candles, your favourite tunes on an iPod, a bunch of flowers or rose petals on the bed. This will help to alleviate any pressure that you are both feeling and help to create an atmosphere of relaxation after a tiring day. It will also ensure that you get plenty of those all important brownie points, as you can take the credit. Do not try to generate a new world record the evening of your wedding. If you are tired there is nothing wrong with enjoying each other company as you sleep and partaking in a little morning delight.

For most women there is nothing better than breakfast in bed, especially if it is made by someone else. Plan ahead and order breakfast before the wedding. Whether its bucks fizz and croissants or a full fat fry, you know your bride best so arrange breakfast to be brought up to both of you the morning post wedding after a phone call to reception. Well you don't want any intrusions at an important moment do you.

The most important thing is to remember that wedding planning, like marriage, is a team effort. Start as you mean to go on. Work hard at the planning but don't forget to take time out to enjoy each others company and remember the reasons why you are getting married in the first place.

Whether you are renting or buying your suit take the time to explore the options available. A suit with low waisted trousers will lengthen your torso, whilst high waisted trousers will shorten the same. A 3/4 length or knee length jacket will give the impression of shorter legs whilst a shorter cut will add vital inches where you need them the most. Try to find a suit that balances your frame. This is the one suit that you need to make your own, we are talking James Bond style, regardless of whether actually purchase the item or not. By simply adding your own twist on the shirt, a quirky (but not novelty) tie, cufflinks or a statement watch you can add a little of your own personality without straying from the theme. Most importantly make sure that the suit fits. If you are unsure ask the sales assistant to help or follow these simple rules. Once you have buttoned your suit jacket, the shoulder pads should sit on the shoulders with the seam running along the natural line of your body. If you pull the jacket away from your torso there should be no more than a thumb length between your body and the jacket. The collar on your dress shirt should be snug but not tight, you should be able to fit a finger around the circumference of your neck, anymore and the shirt is too big.

(GK)

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