the Wedding Planner

UK Wedding News

29/08/2014

1 in 3 Women 'Follow' Their Exes Online

A new survey has revealed that 30% of women remain "friends" with, or continue to "follow" their ex-partners on social networking sites.

A further 22% admitted they keep a close eye on their former partner's activities – but do so by using someone else's profile, or a fake profile entirely. They will also risk snooping at a time when they know their ex will not be logged into their account.

The research, which was commissioned by British anonymous social network Pencourage.com and carried out by OnePoll, involved 2,000 women. Focusing on relationships, the women were asked if they had ever been in contact with an ex via social media when they had a "weak" moment. 19% confessed that they had been in touch with a former flame – but later regretted it. An honest 18% said they had wanted to contact their ex but had remained "strong enough" to resist, while 51% were adamant that they would not contact a former flame.

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For 48%, they also had clear boundaries, as they cut all ties with an ex-partner, blocking them from all social media and going as far as to say they would never contact them again.

Dr Michael Sinclair, consultant psychologist and Clinical Director of London-based City Psychology Group, is quoted in a report by the Daily Mail as saying: "Social media makes it undoubtedly easier for us to keep track of people we once knew.

"We may feel compelled to do this for a number of reasons. It's fair to say that if we really care for someone we'd understandably want to check-in and see how they are and maybe relive some of those good times.

"Often however, checking-in can be more a form of checking-up. This can be an attempt to validate our own self-worth and possibly quench any feelings of failure, rejection or loneliness – as we often secretly hope to see how unhappy and lonely others are by comparison. If this is the motivation, it often backfires and just makes us feel worse about ourselves."

Peter Clayton, founder of Pencourage, said: "The most widely used tags on Pencourage are sex and relationships, so it is unsurprising that social media, texting and online dating – unavoidable trappings of modern life – have become inextricably linked with these themes.

"There are thousands of real life journals on the site dealing with the challenges of entirely disentangling ourselves from previous relationships, so we were curious as to how online habits could contribute to (or prevent us from!) being able to truly move on."

The idea behind Pencourage allows users to upload 200 words into a 'private diary' every day, as well as photographs, videos or music. Many of the journals, which are anonymous, are written by women who dish out about their relationships, or former relationships.

(JP/CD)

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"A new survey has revealed that 30% of women remain "friends" with, or continue to "follow" their ex-partners on social networking sites."